Friday, September 10, 2010

Dungified

Last night i was having this thought in my mind which sort of popped up at the wrong time - it was five minutes past midnight, i wanted my sleep!! And that pounding thought was : healthy language over the foul. So random right??





Seriously, i had no idea what it meant because at that moment, i was having a headache already and all i wanted was a piggy sleep. Wrong move for doing sudoku right before bedtime. Dungu choice for doing sudoku(hardcore level) at that hour=.=





Anyway, back to that random thought : healthy language over the foul. When i think about being healthy, instantly and very naturally, vegetables start popping in my head. Salads. Greens. Fresh air. Exercise. Six abs. Sexy bust and pert bu... *coughs* Sorry.





In terms of language, i think being healthy in speech would probably means clean your mouth everyday extracting all usage of foul language. *shrugs* I'm just sayin'. Somehow this reminded me of a friendly comment dropped on my chatbox saying how mean my topic sounded (referring to my previous post The One Monochromatic Bite) and the funny thing is, i don't know what was exactly so mean in that topic.





Yes i did include some elements of anger in there but i did it in the most 'healthy' way possible.


"Those cucumber heads had us waiting for 40minutes before SOMEONE actually TOOK OUR ORDERS."

"They should just cheese bake their head and serve as pulut..."


Tell me, what did i do that was so mean huh? I only used non-magical, totally powerless words to describe them people as 1. cucumber heads and 2. cheese baked pulut. Besides, they should feel honored to be scolded with such glorious terms (cheese baked pulut not glorious meh???) instead of just one blunt f*ck. No? Or you can just verbally slap me back by calling me *insertdeliciousfoodnamehere*.





ANYWAY, talking about blunt words, I used to have one i commonly blurt out for the purpose of self expression(?), just like how some people like to use the blunt f word (please, i'm not referring to fart=.=). I used to use the s word. The very well known four-letter, smelly, s word called 'shit'.











So since we're talkin' about having a so-called healthy language, i've attempted in making this favorite word of mine to be more 'healthy'/ 'presentable'/less 'smelly'.





First off, lets see what the dictionary has to say about this s word.


1. (impolite)Solid waste

2. (
impolite)Shit/shite(Bristish) - something you do not like of think is of very bad quality

3. (
impolite)Something that is not true or sincere (we have to listen to politicians talking shit.

4. (
offensive)shit/shite(Bristish) - an unpleasant or unkind person

5. (
impolite)used for showing that you are annoyed, disappointed or frightened




Don't want to know more? Skip the phrases part then. If you decide to read on, i'm warning you, there will be much stinkifying use of meanness.




Phrases:
1. (impolite)Feel/look like shit - to feel or look ill
2. (impolite)full of shit - always saying things that are stupid or not true
3. (impolite)Get your shit together - to get organized
4. (impolite)Have the shits - to have diarrhea
5. (impolite)in deep shit/in the shit - in trouble
6. (impolite)kick/beat the shit out of somebody - to kick or hit someone very hard
7. (impolite)no shit - used for saying that you are surprised about something, or in a humorous way to show that you are not at all surprised
8. (impolite)not give a shit - to not care at all about someone or something
9. (impolite)shit happens - used for telling someone that unpleasant things happen to everyone, not just to them
10. (impolite)the shit will hit the fan - people will become very angry or there will be a lot of problems
11. (impolite)take shit from somebody - to let someone treat you badly
12. (impolite)treat somebody like shit - to treat someone very badly
13. (impolite)shit yourself - to be extremely frightened
14. (impolite)shit on - to treat someone in an extremely unfair way
15. (impolite)shit-hot - extremely good
16. (impolite)shitless - used for emphasizing how strong feeling is, especially the feeling of being frightened



Reading the dictionary has never been as amusing as this. We can conclude that this s-word displays 'impoliteness'. And if i use this word, I'll definitely be labeled as meanie no? That's why I've really gotta filter this!





So far I can only think of one pleasant word that sort of relates to the s word, which is constipation. I know it is three times longer in letters and in syllables (did i use this word correctly?) but hey, it does sound pleasantly clean and slightly healthier in terms of language right? (Just ignore the fact that constipation is a health problem) Hehe.





So now, how do we apply this new replacement of the s word? (see the pichas)













Okay lah... i agree that the emotional rush would probably make this sound ridiculous and hard to pronounce, and we'd definitely relent back to the original word instead. How about if we try adding another word to help 'clean up' the language 'mess'?











Good ay? It was back in highschool when me & juean came up with this 'extra' word as an attempt to get rid of our 'impolite' habits of overly using this s word. This word became one of our dominating word for expression to the point that every minor imperfection would be an unnecessary call to use this s word. We were becoming very sick of it because it'll sometimes just slip out and make itself heard even though we didn't even say it. Yeah, it's the imaginary captions. Thus the brilliant invention of the attached response; the 'flush' word.





You might say it's just the word. It's harmless to yourself.











Well, think again. Don't simply put words in your mouth man.





Thanks to this 'extra word', it literally flushed away our 'impolite' use of the 'not so healthy language'... and no more stinky habits.











Some things ought not to be said, otherwise shit happens. Flush. And stay away from cows?





KBye.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The One Monochromatic Bite

Monochromatic. Defined as; a painting or drawing executed in shades of a single color, or the techniques used to create such a work.





Never mind if you don't know what I'm trying to say. Allow me to explain further with some illustrations.











This was a gift received by dad from a friend who came all the way from Japan to Malaysia for a long vacation. Never mind who, when or why. Just look at that beautifully designed tin. Just look!











The tin saturated with colors makes you wanna open it up and wallop the cookies a.s.a.p! Though it's a bit girly (referring to the dominating pinkish magenta) and is sort of nostalgic (mickey mouse! *screams*), it doesn't really matter because what's more important is it's content.





So i opened it. Without mum's permission. As always.












Oh my goodness! Look at them little cookies! *scampers off to get the camera!*











It's not like i've never seen butter cookies before but it's my first seeing such pretty cookies! It's worth feeding my camera. And make you guys feel the drool comin'. Heheheheeheh....











As you can see, my hair-towel was still on. I have reached the jollifying level of excitement that i totally ignored how i looked in the pictures. Who cares when the celebrated ones are the cookies right?





Alright.. enough with all the cam whoring. It's time to NOMNOMNOM!





I took a bite and...OH! The taste!








Was not as 'colourful' as i thought. 100% stoned. That's literally what i mean about 'The One Monochromatic Bite'.





This actually wasn't my first experience. It happened once before when i went to WongKok for lunch with mum.











Lovely coloured menu that sort of give the impression of a colourful meal ahead, no? Giving you a roller coaster ride to the land of the jolly? Or maybe it's just me being too drawn away by the design lah.




Anyway, this is one of the MANY restaurants that will not get my second visit unless... they decide to give out free food. Lol. Otherwise, these are my solid reasons why i wouldn't put my ass back in there.





Reason #1 : Lousy service.









Those who came in AFTER us actually got to dine in before we do. What?
It was just me and my mum, while that group was a family of four. They were served first, we were left behind.. counting heartbeats. What??
We called for the waiter. He asked us to wait. We called the waitress. She asked us to wait. Wait until every other family of fours gets their meals first is it?? WHAT???




I have got a poor stomach with the potential of getting a gastric. Seriously, i really felt like a hole forming on my stomach walls=.= Those cucumber heads had us waiting for 40minutes before SOMEONE actually TOOK OUR ORDERS. Plus idon'tknowhowlong minutes before the meal came. I must have digested my own stomach while waiting.





Reason #2: Taste of food is not up to it's price.





Their so-called recommended dish was the cheese-baked rice which, i find, has no specialty at all. Layer one, a BLANKET of melted cheese which you can literally unroll it. Layer two, one piece of bbq-ed pork. Layer three, buttered white rice.


What? Just freakin' normal white rice? Aren't they supposed to use the finer quality of rice instead of white rice - something like what 'Food&Tea' used to have to make their cheese baked rice? It's so freakin' damn $$$ and all i get is just white rice??? Can't they like at least make the cheese melt INTO the rice layer? Cu. Cum. Ber. Heads.


Double thumbs down for the rice man. They should just cheese bake their head and serve as pulut...





Reason #3 : Deceptive names of food.





What will you be having in mind with the 'Ham Rolls' title? Probably some ham wrapped round some solid bacon or whatever halal meat of your choice right? By looking at the picture, you'll confirm your thoughts.


Well you're wrong. It's just a thin outer layer of ham with fish paste on the inside. =.= Not to mention, this dish was obviously quite pricey as well. So misleading right?


Fish paste is actually almost equavalent to those of a fishball. One fishball is roughly about 30cents at most. That dish was like 250 freakin' times more in price! $$$!





Reason #4: Not very appetizing in appearance.





Like dog food right? Right??? Another $$$ dish that has nothing but toasted bread, cereal, black pepper hotdogs, cheese paste and some other stupid paste. Crappifying!




I have NEVER felt so disatisfied with food before. Until WongKok came into my life. =.=! You may say that WongKok's pricing is of an average standard thus the food tastes very average. Agree with that statement and proudly declare yourself a nonsensical cucumber head. I can pay a lot lesser to get BETTER food that are labelled to be ABOVE AVERAGE.





I thought i'd give up visiting any other new cafes in town until i went into this dessert shop.









Mango Snow Ice. Yum!









Chocolate Snow Ice with Banana topped with Condensed Milk. Double yums!









Feel the drool comin' once more? It's not a 'false alarm' like WongKok's. See how it 'saturates' me color??









Even though to me it feels like i'm paying so much just for some iced stuff, I'd say the price is quite reasonable, considering the portion (one portion enough for two girls unless you're simply as greedy as me) and the rich natural flavours of ze fruit - even the ice tasted like manggo (serious!).




They have got other flavours like strawberries, raspberry, green tea etc. But sadly, no durian. :(









It is one perfect remedy to any 'Monochromatic Bite'. Check it out and tell me what you think.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Mum, I Do Kill.

What got me to write up this so very randomly was when i viewed one of my friend's album in facebook (Chau Yeong's) that was loaded with nothing else but plants.





And oh, my friend's a he... who likes gardening. Very unlike me, who is a she and knows NOTHING about the greens (except for the one globally known fact about vegetables being good to the health).











When i think of him, i think of my mum and then back to me who would sometime in the future, inherit my mum's precious garden. I literally went green at the thought of it, and had imaginary foams leaking from my mouth.




Not a good thought.











I don't know. Maybe green just isn't my color?











Have you tried playing "Plants vs. Zombies" - a game of which the good side is obviously the plants that are animated and are sort of in a mutated state where it can actually, ridiculously, defend your house from being invaded by zombies.




Being once addicted to this game got me thinking that perhaps the only proof of alliance between my own self and them plants, was when i actually won the game? Though it seriously didn't make any sense since the mission was to use the plants for the sake of protecting your brains from being eaten. By the zombies. Totally unrelated and is of no relevance to reality, no?












I once asked mum, what happens when i actually take over her garden. I shifted my view towards the garden, visualized that the green pigments will probably fade off, replaced by tones of yellowish brown. One by one, those faithful pots start to disappear and there would be no place for any blooming.




So brown you there was no sight of any other color except for the blue blue sky. I saw sand. Heaps of sand... OMG! My mum's garden turned into a mini desert! o.0 (*overly exaggerated*)











I kinda regretted asking her that question actually. I reckon I'd feel the same when a giant toddler comes up, snatches my dSLR, sticks it in its mouth and smash it against the wall...GASP.




My lungs would drop off if that happens!!!











Sigh. If it isn't for my love towards photography, i would definitely not get to do any justice for my mum's precious - by taking RIP pictures of the plants (it's for the best of their futures sobs). At least if they do die (need to touch wood?), i still have a piece of something for remembrance - probably very useful to keep track of how many i've accidentally murdered.











Oh well, besides eating... i don't think i have gotten any good skillful trade from mum lah. Sadly :(





P.s. : Dear plants, too bad you guys are not edible. Love, Mabel.


P.s.s. : Pictures taken during my trip to Cameron Highlands. And no, those aren't the mentioned "RIP" pictures...



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